It's Complicated

“Hey, look at this!” I snorted to my new colleague.

“What?” she leaned over to look at my desktop.

“One of my friends just updated her relationship status as it’s complicated. What is that supposed to mean? Such an overused statement”, I rolled my eyes.

“Misunderstood is the word you’re looking for”, she gave me a tight lipped smile.

“What?”

“It’s complicated”, she repeated “It’s not overused, it’s misunderstood.”

“I really do not understand what you’re trying to say”.

“Let me tell you a story” she straightenened up.

“Ohhh” I squealed “Tell tell!”

She took a dramatic pause. “8:30 pm”

“You’re going to have to be clearer than that”, I scrunched my face.

“Our story starts with a time…”

8:30 pm

It was time for their daily online date.

She opened up her laptop.

He was online! Her heart skipped a beat!

“Hey baby!” the familiar ting ting sound; the sound that she has loved all these years; the sound that made her feel so close despite being thousands of miles apart.

“You’re on time” she replied with a smile.

“I need your help” he ignored the previous message. Her face fell. 
_____________________________________

“Hey fatty” there was a knock on the door” is your date over? You know what; I’m not even going to wait for you to answer”

The door opened “I got some…..” her best friend’s voice trailed off as he saw her face.  The pizza box he was raising in his hand also slumped down.

“Oh nothing” she smiled “You know the usual”. She tried to sit up straight "I hope you haven’t got Hawaiian pizza; you know how I don’t like pineapple on my pizza.”

Her best friend sighed, “Why do you this, moo? Why do you keep letting him do this to you?”

Moo: he had always called her that when he tried to be gentle with her. Of course it was moo, signifying she is fat as a cow, but it’s cute, right?

He put down the pizza on the table. It was pepperoni.

She grabbed a slice and answered without even looking at him “because I love him.”

“Why?” he asked without missing a beat.

“It’s complicated.”
_______________________________________________
It’s complicated. It had become a routine to say that now: so much so that the words had begun to seem familiar to her lips. To her family; to her friends; to her colleagues; even her Facebook relationship status, that’s what she said when they asked. 

Because she had nothing else to say. And her love for him was so real, so intense after all, wasn’t it?
_______________________________________________

Priyanka Shrestha. That was her name. A hardworking student who had got the scholarship of her dreams to land in Netherland. And of course, her best friend tagged along after her: Ayush, who she affectionately called Ayu. 

Priyanka didn’t like him at first. He seemed annoying, a loud mouth and a pushover; always had an opinion about everything. And he was carefree! So irresponsible that it bothered her. 

“We live in the moment. Why worry about tomorrow?” He would say.

They had known each other through college, and had stuck together through thick and thin. He knew everything about her, her likes and dislikes, the way she gets when she is angry, and her relationship: he also knew everything about her relationship.

____________________________________________

Preet, her boyfriend of 3 years; she loved him dearly, more than anything. She was ready to do anything for him. The reason she stuck by the relationship even though she was beginning to see the cracks through it. This damned heart wouldn’t let her have any other way!

Preet and she had begun dating since college; he seemed like the perfect guy for her. And their families approved of their relationship. It would have been better for them if he would have applied for postgraduate studies with her, but he had family business to look after. She knew he was a responsible man so she supported him. She supported him even when she knew the family business wasn’t doing well. It was getting hard for him to put money together. And that’s when he started turning to her.

____________________________________________

She was more than glad to help at first. After all, it was for their future together.  But now, she had begun to look like his financial aid more than his girlfriend. That was the only thing he spoke about. He no longer asked about her days, her studies, and her work. He no longer told her about the business or his friends.

She could see from her mutual friends that he was well off enjoying nights with the guys. Was that what he was using the money for?

She had asked a couple of times, only to be met by puppy dog eyes and emotional blackmail: “How could you think so baby? Don’t you trust me? Don’t you think I deserve a night out with the guys after all the hard work I do?” he would say “besides the guys pudged in for me.”

She would melt at those eyes.

_____________________________________________

She had had a bad day at work that day.

Frustrated, she threw her bag across the room and sat down. Pushing her hair back, she picked up her phone and called Preet.

He picked up on the third ring.

“Hi, I know it’s not 8:30 yet. But I just couldn’t wait to talk to you.”

“Oh”

“You will not believe the kind of day I have had”

“Hmm” he barely sounded interested.

“I had been working on this project since 2 weeks and today…..”

“Yeah, that’s great baby, but listen can you quicken that money order we talked about?”

“Ohhh” His words stung like a sharp knife.

And that was it. That was the last straw for her.
__________________________________________

“Hey, the guys were asking what we were doing for dinner and…..” Ayu came in but stopped short when he saw her tears.

“I did it”, she looked at him like a child that has lost her way home “I broke up with him”.

And without saying anything else, without asking questions, Ayu took her in his embrace. He knew that was all she needed.

___________________________________________

Life went on, of course, she realized that she was stronger than she assumed. Breaking the news to her family was devastation, but she stood by it. She was not going to back down.

She put all her attention to her work and her studies now.

But there would be moments when Ayu caught her off guard, staring off into space, chewing at the end of her pen.

“You okay?” he would ask.

“Better than ever” she smiled.

What made things easier was that he never called back. He had shown her her place; she didn’t matter to him after all. Her guts said it then, his actions confirmed it now.

________________________________________
Graduation came, the day she had worked so hard for. It had now been 180 days since she last talked to him. How she had imagined, that he would be standing beside her parents as she took that degree she had worked mercilessly hard for. But alas! Not all dreams come true. Some dreams just seem better in your mind; untouched, unreal, pure.
__________________________________________

She and Ayush went out to celebrate later that night.

“Hey Moo! We finally did it, huh?” Ayush high-fived her.

“Yeah, we did.” She beamed. “I was always confident I could do it” she put on her best thinking face, “but you, not so much.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

They both laughed.

“So, what’s the plan now?” Ayush asked taking a sip of his cocktail.

“I’m going to head back to Nepal, see if I can land some good projects.”

He nodded. “That’s nice.”

“And you?” she counter questioned.

He was silent for some time, but then straightened up. “I want something of my own.”

“That’s great Ayu!”

“Aa-an-and I think I’ll need a partner for that.” He looked at her.

“Of course, count me in!” she leaned in. “How big of a number are we talking about?”

“No, moo, you don’t understand, I don’t just want an investment partner, I want a partner for business…. And for life”

She stared at him dumbfounded.

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying that I’ve always been in love with you” He took a deep breath. “Longer than I can remember. I never thought I would tell you this, but I do."

Was her head actually spinning or was it the martini?

He continued, “I know you’ve been hurt bad, but….” He gripped the drink in his hand “I want to take care of your heart.”

He looked at her longingly.

“You know that it’s not your…” she began to say.

“I know” He cut her off “I’m not saying this because I have to, I’m saying this because I want to.”

And she could see the truth in his eyes.

And that was it” she gave in, back to her seat with a sigh. “ 'It’s complicated' is not overused. It’s misunderstood. People go around using it for the vague things in their relationship, but maybe they don’t understand that it isn’t supposed to be so. You’re not supposed to find yourself saying ‘it’s complicated’ because he’s taking you for granted, or doesn’t have time for you anymore, or one is more in love than the other or you guys have been fighting all the time or any other reason.”

I stared at her dumbfounded until I finally found my voice again “Is this your story?”

“He made her realize” she ignored the question and smiled. This time her eyes shined along. “He made her realize that love is never supposed to be complicated; no. What will be complicated will be the hurdles that you might have to face together, the situations, whatever life throws at you, but not the love between you two. That is not supposed to be complicated. It could be complicated; actually, it will be complicated for a lot of reasons; if you are with the wrong guy. But not with the right guy: with the right guy, love will seem like the easiest damned thing ever.”