A Letter to my Stalker

You think you’re so good, don’t you? You think you’re so good at deceiving me, at hiding from me, at becoming invisible. Well, guess what; you are not as good as you think you are.

I thought we were far behind this, I thought when you saw that I was happily married and settled down with the love of my life, you would leave me alone, I thought when we moved out of Nepal, I could leave all this behind, but I was wrong.

They say you can feel when you are being watched, and I feel it truer now, than ever. I do not know where you are, but I know you are around here somewhere silently watching me from afar and keeping track of my every move.

At first, I thought it was only in my head. I thought I must be imagining; not being able to go of the fear of the past horrible experience. But when we found the door to our apartment wide open past midnight open one night, I knew it was you. How did you find out where we live? How long have you been following us? And more importantly, how did you get a key to the apartment? I knew what I thought was imagining was true when nothing valuable was missing from the apartment. But, I immediately noticed that my bottle of perfume and my hairbrush were not where I kept the night before. It was all you needed, wasn’t it? You make me sick.

This has got to be the worst thing you have done, ever. And you have done some pretty horrible things. I do not understand your obsession with me when I have told you time and again that I never was interested and simply, never will be. You left me about a hundred missed calls one night when you were drunk and you just had to talk to me. I blocked your number after that. You told people we were in a relationship, even when we were not. I stopped acknowledging you at that point. But it drove you even madder. Now; now, you have crossed a boundary; you have invaded into our privacy. And this time, I am not going to make it easy for you. This is a public challenge for you. I know you find ways to see my posts on Facebook and I know you read my blog. The next time, you decide to pull a similar stunt, I will be prepared for you and you will be sorry.

Sincerely,

The Girl Who Hates your Guts

Comments

Rajamati

I think we’ve all heard the song of Rajamati growing up. It is so popular that many people in Nepal claim this is the only Newari song that they have heard. The song was written some 200 years back. The first few lines go like this, which I’m sure you must have heard of, unless you’ve been living under a rock: Rājamati kumati, jike wasā pirati Hāya bābā Rājamati-chā Rājamati mabila dhāsā Kāshi wane tela bubā Hayā biu Rājamati-chā. San dhāsā kuli kuli, mikhā dhāsā bālā bālā Sakumi yā mhyāy machā lā Khwā dhāsā tuyu khwā, khwālay niga tee du Tāhā Nani yā Rājamati-chā. It is said to be written by or rather from the perspective of a man who was infatuated and in awe of the beauty of Rajamati. He describes with great admiration: her hair, her eyes, her complexion and the little moles on her face. However it is unknown who the writer of this beautiful song is. The song rushed into popularity after it was played in England in 1850 when Prime Minister Jung Bahadur Rana vi...

The Leaving vs The Left Behind

I still remember, I was standing near the entrance looking out at the garden. I was at my best friend’s home and she had gone to get her ever famous chips chilly for me. I was to leave for Bangalore again, in a couple of days. While I waited, I looked out at the garden and this thought came into my head. “Who is it harder for? The one leaving or the ones left behind?” Is it going to be harder for me in a new place readjusting and exploring, or my best friend here, who will me miss me? Is it harder for a person to settle in a completely new place with a completely new lifestyle and have to find new people or for a person to see the same old places, the same old alleys and reminiscent the good times they had with their friend who are not around at the moment? It was a random thought that filled my mind a couple of minutes and then I got over it. Some time after resettling here in Bangalore, my best friend sent me a reel. The reel was about 2 close friends who used to lived ...

Most Asked Question

Coming back home after one year has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me the past month. Getting to see everyone again, embracing family and friends, working on an office desk again, walking through same old alleys and of course, devouring delicious food that I so dearly missed. I am actually almost through the food list that I have been saving. But the people have been asking me the same question a lot: do you like it here in Nepal or in Bangalore? And the answer has always been the same for me: I like it wherever I am. Kathmandu is home, it is warm, and it is where family is. Bangalore is a different vibe and freedom and excitement. Kathmandu is a different fun and Bangalore is different fun, which is why I live in the moment and enjoy where I am. My mother always tells me: “ La wani tha nya wani ma” in Nepal Bhasa meaning “ the fish must go where the water goes”. The meaning while very basic is also very deep. If the fish does not flow with the water, it cannot survive. I...

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