The Other Kind of Heartbreak

The world has had its fair share of heartbreaks; there are endless stories of breakups, songs about being hurt by your significant other, movies over being cheated on. But what is underrated is the other kind of heartbreak. It’s there but it isn’t hyped as much. The world underrates heartbreaks over friendships. And what is sad is these kinds of heartbreaks hurt even more.

I was reading “The Sun and Her Flowers” by Rupi Kaur the other day. There are some pretty great things in there but one page just stood out for me. It read; as I quote the underrated heartache.

They did not tell me it would hurt like this

No one warned me

About the heartbreak we experience with friends

Where are the albums I thought

There were no songs for it

I could not find the ballads

Or read the books dedicated to writing the grief

We fall into when friends leave

It is the type of heartache felt that

Does not hit you like a tsunami

It is a slow cancer

The kind that does not show up for months

Has no visible signs

Is an ache here

A headache there

But manageable

Cancer o tsunami

It all ends the same

A friend or a lover

A loss is a loss is a loss

And it’s true, is it not? Heartbreaks with friends might not be hyped up as much; they do not hit you in the extremes at once maybe but it doesn’t hurt any less. These heartbreaks will probably not have you bawling your eyes out all at once but they will make your heart ache like never before. You’ll find yourself asking if you weren’t good enough for them anymore; if you weren’t worth knowing about the big things taking place in their lives; why they slowly stopped spending time with you; you’ll find yourself pushed in the corner as you see new things around them.

You’ll remember that random memory of you and your friend strolling somewhere, that joke that made you both roar with laughter as passerbys' gaped at you both like you were crazy, you’ll remember that place that you went with them and reminiscent how good that day had been. And as good as it felt. It all ends with one question: what happened? It hurts when you thought you were going be there for each other forever, but then, they drift away. It’s like that paper boat you made; you twisted every corner to make sure that shape was perfect, you decorated it to your heart’s content; colored it to make it stand out. And then you pushed it gently on water. You cheered for it as it glided on. You ran to catch up with it. The water current began to pull it away. And before you knew it, it was beyond your reach; you couldn’t get it back, try as you might.

No, nobody prepares you for the other kind of heartbreak. There will be no song that will help you heal; there will be no tub of ice-cream that will seem good enough, no time will take away how good of a bond you had with them and that you will never find someone like them.

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