Every Day Phrases by my Mother

I tease my mother every now and then that I should write a notebook or make a scrapbook about the phrases she always uses. Then, I can show it to other people someday. Then, I thought I might as well do that, right now.

These phrases are perhaps, not unheard of, especially in Newari households. They came off as funny initially when she used it on me; but they’re more of life lessons now. So I thought it could very well be of use to everyone else.

Dha ta apu; Dharahara tapu

I take as the nepali touch on Rome was not built in a day. Some things are easier said than done. And it is so true in real life.

Huh? Dha mesh na khapa chaki ma

Whoever responds to the knock on the door has to answer it. This implies that whoever has noticed something or has stated the need of something must get it done himself/ herself.

Bhamcha yu gwali tajyaa

The sole of the bride’s feet are cracked. This has got to be one of my favorite ones. The Newa tradititional bhwe as we all know is on sukul mat and on plates made of leaves. They are popularly known as ba: bhwe. The bride on her wedding day is supposed to serve aila. This phrase implies that if people do not find anything else wrong they will still say that the sole of the bride’s feet are cracked.

It is impossible to please everyone. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much of an effort you make, there are bound to be people who will find something wrong with what you did. You need to accept it with an open mind.

La wanyu tha nyaa wani ma

Where the water goes, the fish must go. This implies that you need to adjust no matter what the changes or the circumstances. You need to be flexible with people and your surroundings.

Chichi na papa na dai makhu

You cannot have both chichi and papa. This is similar to the opportunity cost theory. Chichi is baby language for meat in Newari and papa means sweets when talking to children. You can either have the chichi or the papa. This implies that you can either go this way or that. To gain something, you will have to let go of something else. You can’t have the best of both worlds.

Saakka ne dha ya ti dakwa be la

You wanted to eat something tasty and now, you’ve spilled everything on the floor. When you try to give your best, things can take a bad turn. You may want to something even better and then things could get ruined. And that’s okay. Things are not always going to go your way. Mistake can happen.

Thayu lhati yu pati sweu

You can look at the fingers on your own hand. This is another one of my favorites. When you always wonder why someone are the way they are: you can look at the fingers on your hand. When the fingers on your own hand are not equal, how can you expect so many different people to act the same way or at least the way you think is acceptable? You are bound to meet different people in life and everyone may not be your cup of tea. But we should not judge anyone because every individual is different.

These are the phrases over the top of my head, right now. These phrases are so simple, some even clever and yet, they give you a life lesson in the most subtle way.