To The Birthday Girl

I remember you every now and then. But this time of the year, I remember you the most. For someone who always remembers dates; whether it is birthdays or anniversaries, how can I ever forget the birthday of one of my favorite people? Happy Birthday! You would have turned 29 this year. And every year I cannot help but wonder how you would have been; where you would have been; how you would have looked like and what you would have been doing if you were here.

I just finished reading this book called “The Lovely Bones”. Although I had somewhat watched the movie way back then, this time I saw the movie in a different light. The circumstances are not the same, of course. But, I couldn’t help but remember you. I couldn’t help but wonder if you are also watching us from above. I cannot help but wonder if you are living some of the greatest moments in life that you missed through my moments or your sister’s just like Susie did in the book. To be honest, you are never too far from my thoughts during the big moments in life. And it hurts me so bad to think that we will never be able to see you achieving those big moments in life. I yearned so hard, wanted so bad for Susie to get some closure in the book; for her family to get closure on the matter but it did not happen. Maybe because for so long, I haven’t gotten mine either.

It has always haunted me that we were talking of meeting up only one month before what happened. Would things have been different if we had met up? Could I have changed what happened? Could I have helped you in anyway? Could I have made you feel better? A countless what ifs, the answers to which I will never get. I wish I were more there for you. I wish I had not let your new life and your new group of friends get in the way of our friendship. More than anything, I wish you were still here.

I miss you more than words than can ever justify.

Love,

The Girl who Tries to Put Her Feelings Into Words

Comments

Rajamati

I think we’ve all heard the song of Rajamati growing up. It is so popular that many people in Nepal claim this is the only Newari song that they have heard. The song was written some 200 years back. The first few lines go like this, which I’m sure you must have heard of, unless you’ve been living under a rock: Rājamati kumati, jike wasā pirati Hāya bābā Rājamati-chā Rājamati mabila dhāsā Kāshi wane tela bubā Hayā biu Rājamati-chā. San dhāsā kuli kuli, mikhā dhāsā bālā bālā Sakumi yā mhyāy machā lā Khwā dhāsā tuyu khwā, khwālay niga tee du Tāhā Nani yā Rājamati-chā. It is said to be written by or rather from the perspective of a man who was infatuated and in awe of the beauty of Rajamati. He describes with great admiration: her hair, her eyes, her complexion and the little moles on her face. However it is unknown who the writer of this beautiful song is. The song rushed into popularity after it was played in England in 1850 when Prime Minister Jung Bahadur Rana vi...

Everyday Phases by my Mother part 2

I have been meaning to write this part 2, especially after Every Day Phrases by my Mother , the first part was liked by so many and also because, well, the phrases and the dialogues never end with my mother. I did tease her about writing a book or making a scrapbook about all her phrases, but we never got around to it. So here we are, after almost 4 years, apologies if the Nepal bhasa wordings are incorrect somewhere Ne tha ne masau Bhwauthau pwa This is basically saying, not being able to take advantage of the situation or not doing what you are supposed to do at the event. If you get invited somewhere that has food, you should eat there. Neu twanyu tha yu yethe, jui chwanyu kata pinyu yethe I have heard this one many times. In the society that we live in, impression and your social image matters a lot, especially when it comes to family prestige. So it does not matter what you do at home but once you step outside, there is this social obligation of dressing appropriately, behav...

The Oldest Kumari

Dhana Kumari Bajracharya resides amidst the hustle and bustle in Gabahal, Patan. She is a 70 year old woman, who you would think is much younger at age, if you look at her. Age seems to have done justice to this beautiful woman. What makes this wise old woman different than other wise old women in Patan? She is the oldest Kumari of Patan. Kumari, the living goddess is a tradition or a practice that has been around for many years and that has been celebrated widely in the Kathmandu Valley. The very first Kumari goes back to 17 th Century. The process to choose the Kumari is divine and a girl must go through several tests to get chosen as the Kumari. Dhana Kumari Bajracharya is the longest serving Kumari of Patan having been established as the Kumari from 2010 B.S to 2042 B.S. A whooping 32 years. Perhaps her case is the most rare that we might come across. A girl serves as a Kumari until she reaches puberty, or she has her first menstruation. After that, it is believed that th...

My World

Search This Blog